COO COO CA CHOO

So I have a crazy neighbor. Seems like no matter where I go, I always seem to live within a wall or earshot of a coo-coo.

I've had the looney landlord who lived on the floor beneath me, who would shout obscenities at all hours of the night, throwing what sounded like plates against the wall. Only to greet me the following day as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Like I couldn't possibly have heard his crazy undoings through the floor. The same thin floor, where when I tripped over my feet on the carpet or WALKED heavily, for that matter, he'd immediately call me to ask if there was a herd of elephants on the loose up there.

And to top it all off, he never wore a shirt. Ever. Come the first of the month when it was time to pay rent, I could be guaranteed I'd be greeted at his door by an overweight, gray-haired gorilla man chest.


Then there was the oddly observant, volunteer fireman who lived across the street. I swear every time I pulled into my parking spot, either his blinds would move or even more conspicuous, his inside door would open. And he would stand there, in what he thought was out of sight and watch me. But no, it was in plain, creepy sight. Like, hide your body in the shadows but I can still see you, sight. Some towns have a neighborhood watch, I had a Teresa watch.

Too many times, considering there were NEVER any fires, he would run out of his door, jump in his truck and bail out of there like he had to get somewhere and FAST. He ran stop signs, tires squealing, like it not only made him look important to behave that way but important AND COOL.

I won't even delve into my childhood neighbors since I've blocked most of those debacles from my memory.

Well, this time the looney is a woman, about my age and a whole lot of UNFRIENDLY. Fine, we don't need to be friends. We don't even need to make small talk about the weather or how your new phonebook has been sitting on your front step, for what, 2 months now? But at least acknowledge my existence when I politely say hello and try and pretend I don't know YOU'RE CRAZY.

Case in point, the people up stairs - friendly, quiet, NORMAL. They have a dog. It's a beautiful Australian Shepard that is about 5 times too large to be an apartment dog, but that's neither here nor there. Considering its size and stature, you'd expect it to be a highly-vocal dog and yet it's not. Though there are a few rare occasions where he does bark. It happens. That's the thing with apartment living, you'll HEAR things.

Well, this does NOT fair well with Little Miss Sunshine next door.

When she hears that dog bark, I hear her bark,

"Shut. up. SHUT. UP. SHUTTUPPP!!'"

Followed by her pounding her fists, or perhaps her head, against the wall to affirm her disapproval BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

To which the dog promptly stops barking - - for approximately 3.5 seconds before he starts again. This time, he just does it more fervently.

I can just picture him up there, chilling by the window, doing the doggy cocked-head thing they do when they question reality. If he could talk he'd go "Hmmm?? WHAT THE?" and so instead he goes "RUFF RUFF RUFF!"

Which only fuels her anger MORE and she just does her SHUT UP BANG BANG even louder. You can only imagine how far she gets with that. NOWHERE. And this is where, in my dumbfounded curiosity, I lean my ear farther in the direction of the wall we share, so I don't miss a beat of her undeniable INSANITY. Silently I egg the dog on to stand his ground and bark like his life depended on it.

Until, that is, I catch myself cupping my ear against the wall with one hand, stifling a giggle with the other and wonder just WHO the crazy one is here.

upon closer inspection

I must say, there have been some strange sightings upon closer inspection of Wes's property. The old vietnam vet who lived there before him must have been quite the character. That place sure has a personality! And that personality is rather innovative and self-reliant and completely and utterly unconventional.

This old handmade sign hanging inconspicuously from the back shed pretty much sums the old guy up. Quite the social sorta fella, I take it. Notice the size of the U compared to the rest of the letters. I guess when he was carving out that little bugger, the intricate curves really challenged his thick, callused fingers to the point where, to get it just right, he had to carve away till there was barely anything left.



Then there is that weathered, old cold cellar that does nothing short of creep me out. One time, we braved it enough to swing the door open for a glimpse inside. And by brave I mean we stood as far away from it as humanly possible, prodded the door open with the longest sticks we could find and jumped back in defense. And did I mention this all went down in broad daylight??




Then there's the outhouse for those rather unfortunate instances where you have to poop so bad you can't make it the twenty yards to the house. Or maybe that old vet had a mad case of incontinence. In which case you'd think with the hundreds of trees around, he'd have plenty of options. But yeah, there it is in all its unsanitary glory.



I guess this thermometer had to be hung on a piece of wood because the wood THE TREE PROVIDED just wasn't good enough.



This poor guy must have eaten the grass too close to the outhouse.



On the flipside, this piece of land provides me with quite a few simple pleasures. I love to sit and quietly watch the variety of wild birds this house invites. As well as a few pesty squirrels for Wes and I to play target practice with.



Wes's uncle gave him this planter which his father-in-law built. I liked it for its simple form and function. We've decided this will make a good home for a few of our favorite spices like cilantro, basil and rosemary. Yes sir.



This post would not be complete without a mention to Wes's pride and joy. Here she is.



I might make fun - but that thing kicks out some heat! Quite the way to conserve in a day and age where NOTHING IS CHEAP.

All things aside, I love that place. Not only for its eccentric nature but its nitty gritty authenticity. It represents so much more than meets the eye. I look forward to making my place there someday.

Hibachi

Last Saturday, the motley crew of girls got together for Julie's last bash as a unhusbanded woman. We had the little japanese lady running around in circles, trying to figure out the camera. I thought that they were supposed to be pros at that sorta thing. Anyway, once she got us into formation to take the shot, she shouts off to us to say 'cheese'. For which we all reply:

HIBACHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

It was great.

Yeh, here I am

Hi everyone! It's been a little while so I thought I'd say hello! What better way to show how truly self-absorbed I am by setting my camera on timer and taking a picture of myself! Look at me!




Thing is, I would have had Wes take the picture but I'm sure he either had his head buried in his wood stove or in a prized issue of Backwoods Home Magazine, intently reading an article on the How-tos of Preserving Black Walnuts or the benefits of LED lighting.

Time does not exist when he's participating in these grand endeavors.

Unless, that is, he needs something at Home Depot. Well, then I'd better be ready to go and I'd better be ready NOW.

"You look fine, now LET'S GO!".

Look at how impatient he looks.



Speaking of Home Depot (and Lowes, Ace Hardware or Walmart) we've been spending a lot of time there as we slowly improve his property. Sometimes I have to be swayed with the promise of breakfast, lunch, dinner and a foot rub. Other times, I get into it and truly enjoy seeing the fruits of our labor. This particular day I ran the perkiomen trail, came back, took off my running shoes and picked up the wallpaper steamer.

(Please note that the only proof of my existance in that house is that pink loofah shower thing back there. And maybe a discreetly hidden box of tampons for emergencies. I'm not one of those females who takes up their boyfriends closet space.)



I'd much rather take up his brain space. :)



I like to leave more subtle reminders that I was there.

Such as this bit of handy work:



Incase you missed it:



Hey, someone asks you to help wash dishes and you agree, hesitantly. But then you happen to accidentally drop and break a few plates. Maybe then they will happen to stop asking for your help.

Good theory to live by, no?


Truth be told, it was an accident. I guess I don't know my own strength and the piece of wood just got away from me. And I must say, Wes handled it like the easy-going champ that he is. I mean, I don't think there was a whole lot he could do considering he was up there.



And flaring his arms around wildly in anger might have been a little dangerous, considering his situation.



So I think at that point, I stuck with more harmless activities like strolling around the homeowners property, taking random pictures.







On to bigger and better things:

MONTANA, HERE WE COME!



It's booked! July 2-14! WOO HOO!

For those of you who know, we have been throwing around the idea of taking a trip out to Montana. Mostly because it's GORGEOUS there, a nature-lover like myself's dream, God's country at its finest and all that.

And partly because Wes left a portion of his heart out there and we must go back to retrieve it. Or maybe just maybe I will leave a tiny part of mine behind to keep his company. One can only hope.

Till next time, God bless!